Crafting

In the last couple of weeks, I've been enchanted by the theme of crafting. On my vacation I discovered a copy of The Grapes of Wrath in the house and was surprised at how rapt I was. I absolutely plowed through it. I was amazed at how John Steinbeck told a story within a literary texture that makes the reader feel the emotions and circumstances of the characters all the more. Then, this past weekend my husband and I saw The Kids Are All Right. Again, crafting was everywhere. Mark Ruffalo's character owns an organic Alice Waters style restaurant whose ingredients come from his own organic garden. Then in one scene, Annette Bening's character tells Mark Ruffalo's "If you want a family so badly, why don't you go out and make your own!"

I found comfort in both works around the theme of family. In an age where so much is written about the dissatisfaction that parents feel, it is nice to see an homage to the what is built with years of effort. But the metaphor holds true for whatever life we live. I love to watch a client really discover his or her authentic self, then craft their life around the newly discovered values. Sometimes the change is sudden and immediate, sometimes it is gradual. But I do know that once the client discovers it, to live that life becomes absolutely urgent. A cousin of mine this summer shared a quote, "Tout bonheur est un chef d'oeuvre. It means, "Every happiness is a work of art." So, like a well-crafted work of art, an authentic life is a thing of beauty.

Re-calibration

Just back from two weeks of vacation and am feeling amazed. Before leaving I wrote about my intention to re-calibrate during this break. Wow, maybe it was that intention or maybe it was just creating a void, but I really did come home with a lot of clarity.

My vacation was in France. I was bringing my children to see the extended family for the first time. The expectations around what it meant for me, the knowledge that it would be difficult on the children because of the language, and the experience of having felt the difference in child-rearing styles as a child myself made it a loaded visit. I had a lot of hope and apprehension around it. Mostly that I would feel pressure to show my children off as passably French. That they should behave well and be charming and that I should be able to absorb all of the cultural differences so that their experience would be stress-free.

Well, not quite. It was wonderful. I got to share more than I'd hoped. Walking on the beach I shared with my mother as a child, climbing the rocks along the seashore, and getting the rare and wonderful pleasure of a full day of traditional Breton dancing. On the other side, there were long and tiring moments during which I saw my kids struggling and during which I struggled to stay true to my own, American style of parenting. It may sound minor, but anyone who has grown up juggling cultures knows that it is a big challenge.

So in the end, I was able to be myself most of the time. I was able to let go of old stories about how things should be and integrate my different worlds in a patchwork that was present and authentic. It was incredible liberating. The moments in life when you can be excited about going away, and equally excited about coming home to the life you've built are truly a pleasure.