The Good New Days

This week I finally began watching the first season of Mad Men. Amazingly, I downloaded it through iTunes and bought the entire season in one click.

What struck me, and I'm sure I'm not alone, is the sadness in male/female relations in the show. I understand that the division between who is and isn't hip to the social changes of the era plays a big role in the dynamics across gender and within gender groups. But there is so much built in aggression and isolation between the sexes in the show. I recently read one of John Gray's Mars and Venus books. Something that stood out to me is his assertion that in the past, women looked to their girlfriends for support and to express their feelings. Nowadays, with women working and everyone so busy, we are much more likely to depend on our husbands for emotional and strategic work support. And it seems to me to be a happy change. Who wants to depend on, and share your life with, someone you don't feel intimacy with or communicate well with? So, for those who dream of the good old days, remember that every age or era has its pleasures.

Being Professional

Last week my friend and colleague, Denise Brown, blogged about her experience working at the Chicago Tribune in response to a New York Times article about that company’s culture. According to the article, the environment at the Tribune had become untenable thanks in large part to a new top executive, Randy Michaels. According to the article, and to my friend, Michaels's leadership encouraged a culture of intimidation, sexual impropriety, denial, exclusion and generally frat-boy like behavior. Those who participated did well, those who did not didn't.

As a New Yorker, the stories my friend described were not shocking. In a city full of highly ambitious people, tolerating inappropriate behavior in superiors can go with the territory of career advancement. But for me it did bring up a question I've thought about a lot: What is it to be professional? I can't count the number of times I heard someone be called a "professional" for being cold and distant, hiding their intent, or avoiding emotional elements in their communication.

At its core, being a professional is knowing one's craft and making a living at it. In our very complex corporate worlds, being a professional is more complicated. This summer I read The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck. When Pa Joad is being kicked off his land, he is told, "The company is not a man." Meaning that, the company does not bear the sort of human responsibility that small business bosses, neighbors, friends, families, bear towards one another. From this perspective, why not misbehave? After all, no one is really responsible.

Maybe it sounds negative, but to me there is truth here. In today's work environments those with power can act however they want to. They are not responsible. Many senior executives don't manage their concerns and frustrations, and instead yell at subordinates. Then, the mid and lower level employees behave like robots. Unfortunately, the very same doubts and frustrations, if expressed, are viewed as negative from someone at their level. So, it becomes a Darwinian story of competition, where some devise ways to get to the top just so they can behave how they want to.

I'd like to offer another perspective. Corporate life is here to stay. And being human is here to stay. Why not let employees at all levels be authentic at work? I hear coach after coach compare notes and say that within ten minutes of the first meeting, their corporate clients are talking about their personal lives and how to be more authentic at work. What's more, I've seen first hand how mid-management clients who are authentic at work actually advance better than when they were trying to fit a "professional" mold. So for our own progress, and for one another, how about coming from a place of dignity, support, healthy competition and pleasure in a job well done? What could work be like if we could progress, be our best selves, and not be afraid or uncomfortable? What profits could corporations see if they actually got the most out of their employees?

In Pursuit of Excellence

Last Sunday I attended a concert by the Vienna Philharmonic at Carnegie Hall, featuring Yoyo Ma and conducted by Gustavo Dudamel. I've seen beautiful concerts, but this is the first time I've been moved to tears. It felt important, transformational, and it has stayed with me.

What is it that is so important about transcendental levels of excellence? Coaches spend so much time focusing on balance, calm, being present and acknowledging the small successes. So where does the crazy, unbalanced, destabilizing pursuit of excellence fit in? And why do we need it so badly?

In truth coaches also spend a lot of time on fulfillment. And fulfillment by definition is about urgency, purpose and impact. When you think about Mozart and how he locked himself in a room, not eating or stopping until his work was finished, you see fulfillment at work. Dan Pink talks about three intrinsic motivators: autonomy, mastery and purpose. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his 1998 book Finding Flow, reveals how having that sense of larger purpose and your impact on others, makes it easier to take pleasure in the ups and downs of everyday life. In my coaching program (CTI), they say that, "Living a fulfilling life is a radical act."

Next time you are wondering whether doing what you love and being someone you can be proud to be is worth it, remember that between evenings performing at Carnegie Hall, Yoyo Ma has plenty of tedious rehearsals and photo shoots. Excellence is not about ease and bliss every moment, but it is about drinking from one of life's renewable sources.